Sometimes people are so harsh and cruel in this world, it just stuns you. I cannot help but wonder about God's ways at times, but I know that I should not. It's funny though, there's times where you just need to be alone. I not only like being alone, but I need it, but there are those times where you just think, there is not one person who could take away your pain at that moment. In the end, we are all alone in this world if you think about it. The closest to the few who are truly there for me unconditionally would be my family and one or two closest buddies who are family practically, but even then I come to the conclusion of being alone because you just don't want to add on to their troubles by sharing yours with them. Where do you go? Last night, after being ripped apart in the harshest, crudest manner anyone has ever treated me in my entire 20 years of life, I sat, drained and alone, just thinking about this life. I had no one I wanted to talk to. Who truly understands? No one really. People say they do but honestly, words are cheap. Understanding comes in action and though normally I don't share, the times that I do, it never fails for me to realize that there is no understanding. No one knows the feelings that go on inside. How do you explain to even your closest beloved of an experience that felt like someone just tore you open and ripped out your stomach? How do you explain what really makes YOU happy? How do you get passed their expectations long enough to make them see your true desires? I don't really know if that is possible. You walk, you talk, you laugh, you smile, you gaze, people see you, analyze you, decide what and how you are feeling. You are face to face with someone, passing by, and in reality, I know that there is a world of distance between the understanding. Funny world we live in. And I know this entry made no sense whatsoever, even more so than  my other ones, but these were just from the inside, pouring out. Don''t try to understand, don't think that you do because it is when people think that they do that they really stop understanding for then they really are not listening anymore, having made up their choice in mind. Just listen and let it sink. You don't have to know what I feel to feel it, you just have to listen with your soul.

As humans, we seem to have lost the harmony that the rest of nature has within themselves. We don't often communicate heart to heart, but rather try to do it through the mind and what we believe as knowledge. That knowledge, I believe, is actually misleading lies that we have allowed ourselves to believe and really what we want is the wisdom and awareness that lets our minds be free and our hearts open to the nature of life. So today, I want to say a prayer for awareness, a prayer for wisdom..

Dear God,

Today I ask that you open our heart and open our eyes so we can take pleasure in all of your creations and live in eternal harmony with you, that you help us accept ourselves just the way we are, without judgment, to accept our mind the way it is, with all our emotions, our hopes and dreams, our personality, our unique way of being, to accept our body just the way it is, with all its beauty and perfection, allowing us to see the perfection in all your creations so that the love we have for ourselves can be so strong that we never again reject ourselves, your masterpiece of creation, or sabotage our happiness, freedom and love.

Help us to see you in everything we perceive with our eyes, our ears, with our hearts, with all our senses, letting us perceive with eyes of love so that we find you wherever we go, seeing you in every cell of our body, in every emotion of our mind, in every dream, every flower, in every person we meet, gaining the wisdom that we are one with you and the awareness of our power to create a dream of heaven where everything is possible. Help us to use our imagination to guide the dream of our life, the magic of our creation, so we can live void of fear, void of anger, void of jealousy, void of envy, giving us a light to follow the path to ourselves where our eternal love and optimal happiness awaits us.

Let everything we do and say be an expression of the beauty of our heart, always based on love, and to be the way you are, to love the way you love, to share the way you share, to create a masterpiece of beauty and love, as that of all your creations, so that in time, we may create a masterpiece of art - our own life, in gratitude and love for giving us Life. Amen.

Sometimes I wish I could snap my fingers and not be a part of this world. I don't want to see any more people in pain, I don't want to hear the things I hear, I don't want to know the stories of what goes on in the lives of various people. No more. I don't understand why it can't just stop.

Sometimes I sit

And wish that I

Could be a kite

And fly in the sky

I'd ride upon

The breeze and go

Whichever way

I chanced to go